miscface: hee~ chitchat my fav

I had a disturbing thought

Y'all know how ... complete a wussy I am, right. I can't watch scary movies, I can barely watch suspenseful ones. Anything too graphic, especially sadistic - I can't even stand the BUILDUP. I don't like guro anything, reading the first volume of Franken Fran left me horrified for days. I can't read books where horrible things happen. Well, widescale theatrical violence is fine (this is why I love Steven Seagal movies), but blood and guts is not. Obvious pain and suffering is not. I ran from the room in a bawling hysteria when watching "Cruel Intentions"!!! I am a great big twee weenie.

...so when I am writing a guro thread, or a snuff thread, or a brutal non-con thread, where does it all come from?

It's obvious I'm not copying anything. This isn't synthesis, the way Seymour is a synthesis of a Final Fantasy character and the dark-horse heroes of cheesy romance novels. It's not constructing something out of other parts.

Also, I can't imagine being on the other side of the equation. I don't know why people want their characters to be cut up or raped. I could understand wanted to get your character killed, but if I did that it would be such a ceremony - a deification. To have it done in some low shabby way is inconceivable to me. I don't get it, but I can do it - write as the rapist or the cut-up merchant or whatever.

Where does it come from?


By the same token, here is a description of what would be The Ultimate Smut Thread For Elf:

One of my particularly unlovable characters - Seymour, or that fucking bastard Feilong, or Varaszidien - wakes up in a nice bed in a nice home in a nice town next to a someone special. It's some summer dawn in a temperate climate, with dew heavy on the vegetation outside and sleepy birds crying and the buzz of dragonflies and bees outside. Someone Special is awake and has been for some time; s/he is entertaining himself or herself with idly petting Our Hero/ine. Tender drowsy banter ensues, a little light fondling, unhurried and sleepily inexpert coitus, a shower together, and then: "go back to sleep, I'll make breakfast." Doesn't matter who says it to who. Breakfast should be presented on a tray, makeshift or otherwise, alongside a water glass that has some hurried bouquet in it - peonies from the yard, still wet with dew, for example. The lovers eat lightly as they are rapidly distracted by the necessity of rewarding each other for making and enjoying such a lovely morning repast.

I stress that this scene would not "count" in any way if undertaken with the sort of characters most likely to find themselves in it, like Cid or whatever. It absolutely must be one of the difficult jerks. Seifer is the edge case, I suppose.

What a deceptive desire: it looks simple and pleasant, but it's not anything of the kind.
This entry was much more interesting when I posted it @ dw.
miscface: hee~ chitchat my fav

(no subject)

It's a privilege getting to absorb ideas from the people involved in LJRP. It's a privilege to get into the manga and music and culture and etiquette and dreams and goals.

I was talking to a cool-ass guy earlier who was dropping Justice in the context of Cobrasnake hipster parties and I was all fucking lol Cobrasnake, but it occurred to me that I would not have any fuckin clue about Justice if Em hadn't made me listen to them in re: Aizen Sousuke theme songs. 

Or swapping recommendations about which beautiful-young-boy-who-becomes-man-under-magical-conditions with Reg and Viv and Hound across two chats and plurk. That was cool. That level of hyperconnectivity doesn't exist in the non-LJRP world - well, it couldn't have happened in the space of seven hours across half a globe's worth of timezones, at least.

It gets so that I get frustrated having regular conversations with people. YOU MEAN JUST SIT THERE AND LISTEN? HOW AM I GOING TO SHOW THEM THIS PICTURE THAT IS RELEVANT OR LOOK UP THIS THING OR tough to relax and decouple the information stream from the humans-hanging-out stream. I don't think the one replaces the other; a body needs simple human contact with faces and hands and tones of voice and body language and chill time. But to fall into sync with someone's thoughts or patterns, or to learn to express something so that a new person understands you and vice versa -

...that happens much faster online than off.

This entry was much more interesting when I posted it @ dw.
miscface: hee~ chitchat my fav

Lol status quo

I understand that people think there's a strong, clear, obvious difference between the quality of interactions in formal games, dressing rooms, and museboxes. But it doesn't seem to hold up under examination.

Seems like the differences are purely structural:

Game: has app, (usually fixed) setting directed by mod, plot is directed by mod, required activity
DR: no app, setting suggested but not fixed by mod, plot(s) are directed by players, no activity required
Museboxes: no app or FRIENDSHIP APP, setting suggested or fixed by player-mod, plot(s) are directed by players, pals will nag you for tags

But your chances of getting, keeping, or losing CR aren't that much different in each. People disappear less often in games, but steady day-in-day-out players don't differ much in each. The quality of CR is not that much different in each. The quality of writing doesn't vary so much between categories as it does within samples of each category. For some people I know, their very best threads ever - the most beautiful, the most fun - were done in highly structured games based on formal rules and top-down modding. For others, and in this number I include myself, their best threads were done spur-of-the-moment in dressing rooms.

The biggest difference is in who's calling the shots, that's all. And some players/writers flower more fully under one set of conditions, others under another.

I don't understand the purpose of looking down on dressing rooms, though. YEAH they can be hives of shitty players shittily posting shitty posts to each other, so feel free to sneer if that's your thing, but they are above all a place where people are doing what they want because they want to do it. For someone like me, who has been so fortunate with partners and found so many truly excellent writers and players in dressing rooms, I find it difficult to understand why anyone would believe that it's not possible to get quality interaction in a dressing room.


In a larger sense I do take issue with the app/game model of running an RP. I think it's fundamentally broken. There is an overlap between the skills it takes to write a good app and to be a good player in a game, but the two skillsets are not synonymous. There is an overlap between the skills it takes to set up an interesting game (i.e. to be the architect) and the skills it takes to run an interesting game (i.e. to be the administrator) but the two are not synonymous. Games are also very high-committment and high-risk - building out a really good, sound, overarching-plot-type game can take 15-20 hours OR MORE, and you can't even be sure anyone will show up! Advertising a game fucking sucks - what if you're a great game architect but you can't write a cool-sounding blurb for shit? All your hard work down the tubes because you can't sell it. And and and

I'll go on in this vein for a while. The upshot is that all of RP has structural issues and limitations, and I start to think that one of the main reasons people pooh-pooh this or that format of RP is because

it's so hard for anyone to find what she wants in this big muck of games and players. it's already so hard, so why muddy the waters further with these types of RP that this player does not want.

...The fundamental cause of this unhappiness is a friction created by using a setup - a journalling web service - that is not designed to do what people need it to do for RP. It was never intended to run this sort of organization. Therefore I think the solution is to re-architect the way that RP games are set up and presented for browsing entirely.

Needless to say, I have a plan for this, but I'm leaving it to[personal profile] logios to architect and implement. So people who are interested in that should go friend Logios. :3c
This entry was much more interesting when I posted it @ dw.
miscface: hee~ chitchat my fav


Momus: The Book Of Jokes
Momus: Solution 11-167: The Book of Scotlands
Hemlock: We Deserve Better
Oulipo: A Primer of Potential Literature

This is just my "remember to buy these" list.

Not that anyone has ever asked, but my favorite authors are:

Poetry: John Donne
Fiction (serious): Stanislaw Lem, chased hard by Alasdair Grey
Fiction (ridiculous): Jennifer Blake
Philosophy: Foucault, then Dworkin
History: Desmond Seward, with class-trash-throwing Froissart nipping rudely at his heels
Science: Norbert Wiener (STOP LAUGHING)
Drama: John Marston, Lorca.

Lem and Foucault both I came to only in the last three years. Even more so than Shakespeare, whose flush and healthy beauty is an evergreen pleasure - Lem shocked me. His Master's Voice shocked me, and Fiasco, especially, appalled me with its maddening and abstract horror. The Investigation is a good place to start with Lem, since one comes to the method of his madness in short and clear form.

Where Lem shocked me, Foucault left me with the feeling of coming across some ancient manuscript of magic in which every page bristled with energy and power. I was converted at once to his deeply humane rigor, his potent and flexible command of complexity - because he doesn't simplify the complex, nor short it, but makes it possible for the reader to share in his control of it with him. I think -

If I had had to go through life without reading Foucault's Madness And Civilization, I would have persisted forever this painful and erroneous belief: that there is no such thing as a thought which can't be expressed. To break the expectation that everything could be communicated broke with it the expectation that I owed anyone an explanation for my thoughts. I was at last able to take hold of this (thankfully expressable) idea: a person is not obligated to make sense to other people.

Discipline & Punish was the 201 to Madness' 101 - it explained why on earth I had ever gotten the idea that a person is obligated to make sense to other people. Anyway, Foucault. <3

This entry was much more interesting when I posted it @ dw.
miscface: hee~ chitchat my fav

It is my birthday.


Birthday wishes, presents, boners, etc. may all be deposited here. I am celebrating by driving my best friend to the airport at 5 in the morning, then ignoring my mother's phone calls for the rest of the day.

As it is my birfday, I will break ranks and announce unofficially that [community profile] lovesphere_afterhours will open a week from today. Lovesphere After Hours will be the all-ages non-smutty sister community to [community profile] lovesphere, and will receive its own fussing, whining, and weekly events.

Right, so. Let's get on with the wishing me well and kissing my ass and whatnot. Come on, I haven't got all day.

This entry was much more interesting when I posted it @ dw.
miscface: hee~ chitchat my fav

Moments with someone who isn't cute.

Elf: is he a hot ghetto slut with an LA face and an Oakland booty?
"not cute": nah, he's a pretty cool dude offline and online
Elf: eh doesn't afraid of jizz?
"not cute": of course
"not cute": I went to his room to go drinking and he laughed at me when we found out I couldn't handle anything
"not cute": ;A;
Elf: oh my god
Elf: why are you so cute
"not cute": IT WASN'T CUTE I choked and coughed on PBR and Bailey's ;A;
Elf: ....OH MY GOD This entry was much more interesting when I posted it @ dw.